i'm feeling melancholic. this feeling always magnifies when i'm all alone at night reflecting the day - if there's anything i can do better.

more often than not, there are lots of things that i could. and this makes me depressed thinking why didn't i do these things better than.

like i've been losing my temper so frequently at dar - always wanting to do things my way, not listening to any of his suggestions or alternatives, sending everything that went wrong his way, nothing is my fault, commanding him here and there.

he's the best thing that happen to me and has been pretty very extraordinarily wonderful to me (i hope i'm not boosting his ego if he ever reads this, yes, he don't read my blog normally).

but i think humans are very contemptible. the nicer one is to the other, the other tend to take it for granted. then when being treated the opposite way, the other become nice back. its hardly always one nice and the other nice back.

i shall resolve from this minute onwards to be nice. very nice. very very nice. and i sincerely hope he will be very very very nice back.